do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
