The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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