WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
