Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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