We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
