so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
