Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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