i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
