is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
