i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
