Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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