I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
