is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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