I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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