if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
