I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
