he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
