Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
