I cockslap morals
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
