it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
