I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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