I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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