glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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