I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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