in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
