I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
