Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.