my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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