"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team