I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.