Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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