I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
