BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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