u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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