What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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