How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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