I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
