No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
