The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
time to smoke my breakfast
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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