Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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