Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize