I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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