My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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