May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
