Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
