I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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