Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
