We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
