Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He better not be in your backpack
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
