I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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