I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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