If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
