So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
