I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
