Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
