dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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