No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize