I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
