When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
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If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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